I have written previously that while each generation of Americans, from the war generation to Baby-Boomers, Gen-X and now Millennials, is formed by many different social, historical and technological factors – we as human beings all share similar drivers. The most success and happy people seem to intuitively know who they are, what motivates them, and how to take personal responsibility to create a life of their choosing. No matter your age or generation label, people everywhere want to live life more fully, joyfully and prosperously.

The five success factors I see that the happiest, more fulfilled people at work all share are:

1. They have high levels of self-awareness.

The type of self-awareness I refer to is a level of being present/conscious to what is going on within, around, and by oneself in most of their waking moments. These people are much more aware of what and how they are thinking and feeling, and have a way to recover from emotional triggers and reduce the levels of negative impact that are a part of the human condition. They take responsibility for their actions, and are able to make peace with those in their space. Self-aware people are often referred to as having high emotional Intelligence, exhibiting being more skillful in areas such as: self-regard, assertiveness, independence, self-actualization, empathy, compassion, social responsibility, interpersonal relationships, stress management and tolerance, impulse control, adaptability, flexibility, problem-solving, optimism and happiness. The good news is that self-awareness and emotional intelligence can both be developed and expanded to maximize one’s ability to be a high functioning, emotionally balanced and effective person at work and in life.

2. They live their core values.

Those who have consciously established their core values are the ones that have a consistent mechanism to assess situations and make decisions that are congruent with their whole being. We all have values instilled in us since birth, yet few take time to self-reflect enough to see what values they now hold most dear in their adulthood. There are lots of values out there, and those at our core are the ones we default to, and people who are more effective and happy know their core values and use them when dealing with choices life decisions.

3. They align their passions and strengths with their organizations and roles.

People who know what brings them alive, who are cognizant of their innate skills and strengths, and have found ways to bring these into their daily lives, especially in their work, are the most happy and fulfilled. They see every day as a way to both be fully on-fire and to be of higher utility and service to those around them. The old saying “follow your passion” works for these folks because they take time to find organizations and roles that they better fit in to, rather than just take the first job that pays the bills.

4. They have a deep sense of purpose in their life and work

When we are around those who have a strong sense of purpose, we admire them for their energy and sense of direction. These people see a bigger picture, one that touches, moves and inspires them to greater levels of commitment and action. Whether their purpose is aligned with the organization, or it has a higher calling aspect, purposeful people are the go-getters that make things happen, and they do it without ego, fear, or negative fallout.

5. They care for other people.

The more happy and successful people get more out of life because they like, love, and connect better with others. Unless you want to live in a cave, we all live and work with other human beings, and those who take time to learn and understand about human nature seem to just get along so much easier and more effectively. Being of service goes a long way not to just make others feel good but also to generate a stronger and healthier sense of self and self-worth. The highest form of leadership is to know that when we care about others first, we build trust and respect that is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, and results in outcomes that have more positive, meaningful and profitable results.

Don’t wait any longer for your career to make you happy, or waiting for the big paying job to make you feel successful, or the right person to complete you – you will never get lasting satisfaction out of external motivators. Take time to self-reflect, find the authentic aspects within yourself – your values, your passions, your gifts, and your purpose. Look for ways to assess your abilities to get along in life and with others, and decide to self-improve and grow where you see yourself lacking. Realize that a huge part of living and living successfully is in how we get along with other people – all types of people, and choose to master the skills you need to better connect, understand and work together better with others. When you take charge of your destiny, your journey will be more joyful and the results will be more fulfilling!

I often use the simple phrase that has served me and others so well:

Wake Up, Get Real, Choose Anew – Now Live and Lead Your Highest and Most Authentic Life!

I get inspired by those whose lives were lived as examples of the power of imagination, of thinking, and of the will to manifest. One of those I admire is Albert Einstein. A few of his quotes have resonated with me for many years, especially as I became a more purposeful, mindful manifestor of the life I want to design. He has been quoted as saying:

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

“If you want a happy life tie it to a goal, not a person or thing.”

“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.”

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Everything begins in our imagination, in that untouchable area of our mind, our heart, our human spirit. Yet we so infrequently tap that constant resource when we most often need new ideas, new ways to resolve issues, new possibilities to pull us forward and new hopes for a better future. Vision today builds our future tomorrows.

I have added a few powerful success practices around broadening your perspectives and creating new visions. These have all worked for me and my clients, family and friends, and I know they can be of service to you. Treat yourself to new possibilities in your life, your work, your relationships, and your purpose. Every new thing you want begins in your mind’s-eye!

1. BE-DO-HAVE.

I love the old Frank Sinatra song Strangers in the Night, especially where he sings “do-be-do-be-do” a number of times. That melody stuck with me since the sixties – and now I know why. Many people have in their heads that in order for them to be happy they have to ‘get’ or ‘have’ something, which requires them to ‘do’ something in order to get it. They spend their life on the hamster-wheel chasing after things they think they need to bring them happiness.

Actually those with the highest happiness and well-being levels figured out the reverse is the true formula.  They put the “be-ing” aspect first, which requires you to focus on the type of person you desire to become in order for you to be happy. Then you list the “do-ing” things needed to accomplish what you want to be or have. We are human beings first and always, and who we are dictates what we do and end up having. If you see patterns in your life that deliver unwanted results, look at who you are being first, and see what you need to change within yourself. Your ‘be-ing’ directs your ‘do-ing’ which will lead to new ‘having.’ Keep this reminder top of mind when looking at the cycles of your life. Most often, the be-ing aspect needs to evolve in order for new do-ing and having to occur.

Under each question below, list who you want to be in the next one to three years. There is no right or wrong answers. Have fun with this. This exercise may provide you with deeper direction, vision, and clarity for your life, work and relationships.

Q: Who do I want to BE?

Q: What do I want to DO?

Q: What do I want to HAVE?

2. Manifestation 101.

As I have studied Wallace Wattles, Neville Goddard, Dale Carnegie, and others who were adept at watching how people make their desires come true, I synthesized their wisdom into what I call The Manifestation Process. When I desire something and have clarified the goodness, truth, and beauty it will bring, I use the process below to stimulate positive actions and await the results. This process has served me and others well, and I encourage you to study and practice becoming an intentional creator.

1. Visualize the IT – the state, goal or object desired – as happening now. Create a clear, compelling picture in your mind that generates big feelings and creates excitement. It could be one image, a series of images, or a short film. Form a distinct mental image of what you want your IT to be. Then Intend IT!
2. Take some time and contemplate the IT of what you want. Allow gratitude to enter around the realization of your IT, and ensure that IT is in alignment with your highest ethics. Tap into your higher self through meditation, contemplation, and visualization. Be mindful of IT.
3. How does IT feel in your gut, head, heart, body? Assess whether IT feels 100 percent or less. Write down your beliefs about IT. Is it fully believable within you or less so? Investigate any doubts, and allow them to diminish to zero.
4. Hold fast to the intention of IT. Believe IT 100 percent, and will your attention to IT. Think, believe, and act in full faith with IT realized.
5. Identify one or two big feelings you would have if IT happened. Don’t associate this with acting “as if”—this is only about feelings! The feelings could be gratitude, joy, peace, etc. Remember big feelings!
6. While holding the image, breathe those feelings into every cell of your body, deepen them, intensify them, and make them bigger than you ever have! Experience those feeling more fully than you ever have. Let yourself go! There is no limit to how deeply you can feel something! Breathe those feelings in like they are the only oxygen in the room! This is called breathing a feeling.
7. Make it even stronger! Double the feelings!
8. Hold the feelings for a full minute. While holding that visual image and the supercharged feeling, repeat these words of power with great authority and intent until it feels complete:

“Already done, already accomplished!”

 Assume the feeling of the desire fulfilled throughout your being as often as you can during your days!

9. Say “thank you” to your divinity/higher power, positively reaffirming the outcome of your desire made manifest. Realize, with great gratitude, that you do get what you want. Retain your vision, stick to your intention, and maintain faith and gratitude. Act with faith and intention in every interaction. Pay attention to any clues that IT is on its way. Be a magnet for others to receive a sense of advancement or increase from being with you. Give them more value than they give you.
10. Feel and act, imagine and contemplate “as if” your vision is already realized—with 100 percent faith—until your IT is manifested. Take the last few minutes of each day, review your IT, and fill your mind of with gratitude as if IT is realized. Don’t get caught up in worry or trying to control any outcomes. Imagine IT, desire IT, intend IT, believe IT, feel IT “as-if” IT’s already accomplished – and let IT go.

3. The Life I Choose.

Choice is the action birthed from creative thinking. When you see clearly what you desire and form it into a compelling vision with a full sense of the intended feelings, the last step is to choose what you want. From any of the previous exercises, picture the desire or vision that impacts you the most at this moment, and connect it with the statements below. Be as clear and positive as possible. You can use “I choose to be,” or “I choose to” statements. Once completed, keep your “I choose” statements in view so that you connect with them frequently.

I choose ___________________________________________.

Ayn Rand summed vision up this way:

“Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. Their goals differed, but they all had this in common: that the step was first, the road new, the vision un-borrowed. The great creators — the thinkers, the artists, the scientists, the inventors — stood alone against the men of their time. Every great new thought was opposed. Every great new invention was denounced. The first motor was considered foolish. The airplane was considered impossible. The power loom was considered vicious. Anesthesia was considered sinful. But the men of vision went ahead. They fought, they suffered and they paid high prices. But they won.”

What is your grand vision for your life well lived? When will be a good time for you to be envisioning, moving toward, and living the life you desire?

There is only the NOW – If you SEE it now you begin the process to MAKE it manifest in your life!

In previous blogs we have addressed how expanding one’s self-awareness is the cornerstone to living a more authentic life and becoming a more conscious, effective leader. We reviewed the key steps to increasing self-awareness, which are to identify core values, clarify root passion, and connect with a personal and professional sense of purpose. We also discussed looking at one’s core belief systems, and getting in touch with the fears that keep us all from moving forward.

As we increase our awareness about who we are, and are not, and about what makes people tick, we also need to step back and allow ourselves to re-envision key aspects of our lives that may be ready for a fresh approach. The word we can use best to help at this phase is Vision.

We hear the word vision in many quarters. In its simplest form, it is about where we see ourselves in the future. Vision is about what we want. You can have a life vision that encompasses your entire existence of a life well lived, or you can have multiple visions for various aspects of your life: family, work, health, and so on. In all instances, what it boils down to is what you want, what you most desire. What do you see yourself being, doing, and having in any area of life?

Vision is the clear, concise view of the highest and best future you can imagine, one that passionately calls to you in an area of your life. “Visioning” is a process that enables us to put aside reason temporarily and look beyond the present to a future as we would imagine it to be. We set aside the negative words can’t, shouldn’t, mustn’t, and don’t. Visioning is a liberating process, allowing us to see just what we can create in our mind’s eye. As we have learned, thoughts are the prime creative force in our world. Everything ever created, simple or audacious, began in the mind’s eye.

Vision turns into powerful words that describe what you see, and the vision words are creative tools that empower your mental picture to make something manifest. What do you see for yourself tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years from now, and by the end of your life? These and other questions must be asked, because what we ultimately “see” for ourselves comes true.

What we focus on, we create. A truth I have come to appreciate is that the words that immediately follow “I want” in my sentences seem to be what I end up getting. When I wanted to achieve and win, and I was fully focused, I typically got what I wanted. When I did not get what I wanted, I often got what was actually at the center of my “I don’t want” thoughts. For example, if I told myself I did not want to lose, I often lost. If I said I did not want to be fat, I gained weight or stayed fat. If I told myself I did not want to lose clients, I ended up losing some. The secret seems to be that “what” we focus on, we get, whether intended or not. By adding I don’t want, I can’t have, or I shouldn’t get, I created whatever I said I did not want in the first place. If you take a few moments and analyze your thoughts, you may see my point.

Having negative thoughts (thoughts of what we do not want to have happen) will create the thing we do not want. We say “I don’t want to fail,” “I don’t want to be overweight,” or “I don’t want a smoker for a life mate,” but the mind grabs onto the words fail, overweight, and smoker. It sets in motion failure, obesity, and smoking. It ignores the word don’t and goes to work in giving you the noun from your vision. Monitor your thoughts and see how many negatives are present—the cannots, do nots, should nots, and must nots.

If you want something, be clear about it with positive thoughts and feelings. If you want a great job, see yourself in it with all the positive aspects and feelings. If you want a healthy body, see and feel it as if it already exists. The people we admire most, who get what they want, share this mental model—they focus on the positive outcome they desire. They will not allow thoughts of doubt or failure to partner with their vision. If they can do it, so can everyone else. The removal of doubt accelerates receiving what we want, because doubt is often the number one reason why plans, goals, or dreams fail to manifest.

I use the word vision, but you can substitute the words goals, plans, targets, possibilities or wants. Whichever word you choose, the same process is at work. All it takes is clarity, a sense of intention, focus, removal of doubt, action, openness, and continuous movement toward the desired end. Everyone can get what they want if they follow the formula.

The Wheel of Life

I have found the exercise to be very beneficial to help me clarify what I want. You look at the areas of your life and begin clarifying what you want to manifest. The sections of the wheel consist of key areas such as health, relationships, career/work, financial resources, social needs, mental/intellectual growth, spiritual development, recreation/hobbies, location and surroundings, and emotional health. This exercise helps you begin to assess where you are in life.

On a scale from one to ten for each area, imagine what a ten looks and feels like. Get a clear idea of what your definition of a ten is in this moment. Look at your current reality as honestly as possible, and compare it to your vision of a ten. A number will pop from your intuition. Circle the number in the area of focus, and go to the next one. When finished, you will have a greater sense of the areas that are working well and those needing attention.

Do not judge yourself for being where you are in some aspect of life. Life is about checking in on desires, recalibrating where you want to be, assessing where you are, and putting new energy in place to make any improvements. As you accomplish a ten in an area, it is not unusual for a new definition of ten to emerge, thus allowing you to expand and move into new areas of living. The Wheel of Life is constantly turning. Sometimes it stays on line, and at other times, it rolls into new territory. Love the journey, and do not get hung up on the destination!

Descriptors

Health: Physical fitness, overall well-being, energy level

Relationships: Loving, intimacy, meaningful associations with few significant others

Career/Work: Fulfilling/meaningful employment, opportunity for challenge and growth

Financial Resources: Ample cash/investments, freedom from financial worry

Social Needs: Healthy connections with others, pleasure from group activity

Mental/Intellectual Growth: Expanding knowledge, intentional learning, sharpness

Spiritual Development: Inner peace, sense of higher purpose, freedom from fear

Recreation/Hobbies: Pleasurable activities and pursuits, manifesting passions

Location/Surroundings: Pleasing and supporting home environment, stress-free spaces

Emotional Health: Maturity, self-awareness, empathy, connections with others.

After you take this quick assessment, my sense is that one or two areas will be most obvious for you to begin placing new mental and emotional energy toward. Let your future begin taking shape now!

The most direct way to realize a better future is to envision and create it now!